124: "I Never Thought It Would Get THIS Big" w. Dr. Omar Suleiman

The Ansari Podcast

Quiz Questions (Short Answer - 2-3 sentences)	Quiz Answer Key
What was Dr. Omar Suleiman's initial goal when he underwent his own religious transformation, and how did his personal journey influence this goal?	His initial goal was to do Da'wah (calling people to Allah) through any means possible. His personal painful journey to faith, especially dealing with the suffering of his mother, made him want to walk with people who were also in pain and help them find faith through emotional or intellectual journeys.
Dr. Suleiman mentions a powerful interview with a paralyzed man named Abdurrahman. What were the three wishes of this man, and what impact did this clip have on Dr. Suleiman?	The three wishes were: to be able to make Sujud and not get up, to be able to turn the pages of the Mushaf (Quran), and to enter upon his mother on Eid, give her a hug, and kiss her forehead. This clip was powerful because it provoked deep emotion in young people, showing Dr. Suleiman the potential of media to touch hearts.
Dr. Suleiman emphasizes taking people on a "journey" beyond short content. How does Yin Institute aim to achieve this, connecting bite-sized content to deeper learning?	Yin aims to achieve this by making short, bite-sized content that provokes interest and then directs people to deeper learning, such as longer lectures, series (like the Ramadan series leading to "the firsts"), programs, and curricula.
What is the "greatest casualty" of Dr. Suleiman's current work and extensive travel?	The greatest casualty is the ability to have deep, personal relationships with people, especially within a local masjid community, due to his frequent travel.
How does Dr. Suleiman describe the feeling of going to a mosque in the Muslim world and not being recognized?	He describes it as one of the greatest blessings and sweetest things in the world. It allows him to simply be a worshipper and sit and listen to a lecture without being recognized.
According to Dr. Suleiman, what is the most beloved title he holds, and where does he find joy in his personal life?	The most beloved title is "Baba" (father). He finds joy in spending time with his family, particularly playing ball with his son and talking with his oldest daughter.
In building a Muslim civilization, Dr. Suleiman discusses different "lanes." What is the importance of recognizing and supporting individuals working in these various lanes?	Recognizing and supporting different lanes (such as reviving consciousness, love of the Dean, artistic sensibilities, social work, and politics) is important because everyone works according to their disposition, and each lane can contribute to the building of a Muslim civilization when rooted in faith.
Dr. Suleiman emphasizes the revolutionary nature of "Tawhid" (the oneness of God). What are some of the broader implications of truly embracing this concept?	Embracing Tawhid has implications beyond theology; it impacts how we view class, wealth, people, and politics, leading to a complete transformation in perspective and action.
When addressing Muslims who may have excelled in their careers but feel disconnected from the Muslim community, what is Dr. Suleiman's approach?	His approach is to show acceptance and brotherhood/sisterhood despite their current actions. He encourages them to return to Allah and offers support on their journey, while being careful not to endorse actions that are outside of Islamic boundaries.
Why does Dr. Suleiman feel passionately about the issue of Muslim prisoners, particularly political prisoners?	He cares deeply about Muslim prisoners due to concerns about the private prison industrial complex, the disproportionate impact on Muslims, the loss of individuals from the community, the lack of support upon release, and the specific targeting and mistreatment of political prisoners, which he views as cowardice if the community turns its back.

What lessons can be drawn for a divorced dad missing his 3 year old and dealing with a high conflict ex with avpd?

Based on the information in the sources, while there is no direct discussion of divorce, co-parenting, or personality disorders, several themes and experiences shared by Dr. Omar Suleiman offer insights that may be relevant to navigating a challenging personal situation like the one you described.

Acknowledging and Navigating Pain: The sources highlight the reality of pain and difficult emotional journeys. Dr. Omar mentions his own struggle to reason with the pain of his mother's illness, which was a point of diversion in his youth. He states that he wanted to walk with people "that were in pain" and help them find their way. Later, he discusses the emotional impact of witnessing the suffering of political prisoners and their families, and the personal grief of missing his mother after her passing, including processing dreams about her. This suggests that acknowledging the deep pain you are experiencing from missing your 3-year-old and dealing with a high-conflict situation is a valid and understandable part of the journey.

The Importance of the Father-Child Connection: Dr. Omar speaks with deep affection about his own children, finding "incredible fulfillment" in simple activities like playing ball with his son and "so much joy" just talking with his oldest daughter. He describes "Baba" as the "most beloved" title and finds significant joy in spending time with his family. This reinforces the profound importance and value of the father-child bond, which is likely a core source of both joy and pain in your current circumstances.

Maintaining Connection and Hope with Faith: A powerful recurring theme is the importance of maintaining a connection with Allah and hope, even when facing significant difficulties or feeling far from where one should be. Dr. Omar shares the story of a highway robber who, despite his actions, continued to fast, keeping "this door open so that perhaps he'll call me back to him through it". He explicitly rejects the idea that someone is "too filthy" or distant from Allah to seek connection or approach a place of worship, calling this a tactic of shaitan. "build on what people are still willing to do and build with the priorities that Allah and the messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam gave to us and build and build and build and build but never destroy never tell someone you can't even access you can't approach Allah or approach the mazjid or approach the dean um because you're too filthy that's exactly what the shaitan wants". This can be a crucial lesson: do not let the pain and difficulty of your external circumstances or relationship challenges lead you to despair or feel unworthy of seeking solace and strength through your faith or community. Keep that door open, focus on the steps you can take, and continue to build.

Seeking Support and Finding Embrace: Dr. Omar discusses the importance of finding support in old friendships that "revive" something and help you "recalibrate". He also speaks movingly about the children of political prisoners who were abandoned by the community, contrasting this with the healing experience of Imam Jamil Amin's son finding a masjid where he felt "most embraced". Navigating a high-conflict situation can be isolating. Seeking out supportive relationships – whether through friends, family (if they are supportive), or a community (like a masjid) that offers understanding and embrace rather than judgment – can be vital for emotional well-being.

Patience and Gradual Building: Patience is mentioned in the context of Dr. Omar's family's support. The idea of spiritual growth and purification as a journey involving steps and building on what is possible suggests a need for perseverance and patience. Dealing with a high-conflict ex is often a long and draining process. The sources imply that progress, whether personal or in navigating challenging relationships, can be gradual and requires persistent effort and patience.

Navigating Difficult Relationships: While not directly about an ex-partner, Dr. Omar discusses his approach to Muslims who may have succeeded professionally but are struggling with aspects of their faith. He maintains a connection with them as a brother, accepting them despite not condoning specific actions ("not being accepting of where they're at being accepting of them despite where they're at"). His hope is that they will eventually purify their lives or channel their efforts in better ways. This offers a potential framework for dealing with a difficult individual: while you may need firm boundaries regarding the child and their behavior, maintaining a stance of accepting the person (as a human being, perhaps a co-parent) while not accepting harmful or manipulative actions can be a challenging but perhaps healthier approach than complete condemnation, especially when a child is involved. However, the sources also implicitly show that sometimes distance or reduced interaction is a necessary "casualty" when dealing with difficult dynamics.

Regarding the mention of Avoidant Personality Disorder (AVPD), the sources do not contain information about this specific clinical condition or how to deal with someone diagnosed with it. Any specific advice on interacting with someone with AVPD would be outside the scope of the provided sources.

In summary, the sources offer lessons rooted in faith and human experience: acknowledge your pain, cherish the moments you do have with your child, hold onto hope by maintaining your connection with Allah even when things are darkest, seek out supportive relationships, be patient with the difficult process, and try to navigate the challenging relationship with a focus on building on what little is possible while maintaining personal boundaries and prioritizing your faith and well-being.